No matter what kind of break up you had to go through, mutual, or one-sided, trying to recover from a breakup still hurts. A breakup impacts you negatively whether you dump someone or get dumped. When that love leaves your life, it has a psychological effect that stems out from the breaking of the emotional bond with your partner. Breakups can be both the most common and traumatic incidents of our lives.
The aftermath of a breakup
We experience such an intense wave of emotions after a breakup because emotions override logic and explanations when we are in love. Quite often than not, our emotions have a lot to do with our deep-set feelings and fears regarding our parental/peer relationships and even childhood. So, even if you break up with your partner on good terms, it will hurt you. After all, that one constant in your life is no more there.
You get your heart broken by someone you had complete trust in, and now you are hurting. You have no idea how to move on, wondering if it will ever stop hurting you. Breakup feels like rejection when someone tells you that things cannot go on the same way as before. And it is a tough blow for a person’s ego.
Tips for a healthy recovery from a breakup
Not everything is meant to stay for perpetuity. The sooner you understand this, the easier it would be for you to carry on with your life. Relationships end, friendships fail. You will make new friends, enter new relationships; the circle of life must go on! You must be thinking,
“It’s easy for someone to say this if they have never truly loved!”
Sadly, in this case, that is not true! This advice is coming from someone who has lived through the darkest of the abysses and the worst of the nightmares; someone who waited years in hope that he would come back. Well, I learned my lesson the hard way but, I don’t want you to make the same mistake and lose years of your life running in circles. Here are 7 tips to help you recover from a breakup and heal your heart:
1. Remove all contact
This is, hands down, the first rule you should follow after a breakup. Remove all sorts of contact from your ex. No text messages, email, meetings – nothing. Also, unfollow them from your social media accounts. When the wound is still fresh, this is something you need to do. Cutting all kinds of ties helps with the healing process. Trust me! This is the most rational thing you could do after a breakup. And remember, there’s no way you are moving on if you have his/her photos on your phone, or you are still friends with them on social networks. Also, you need to stop stalking their social media accounts, their “Last Seen” on WhatsApp, or secretly keeping tabs on their activities using Xnspy.
2. Take a break and vent it out
Keeping your emotions bottled up inside never did any good to anyone. Particularly when going through a breakup. Meanwhile, it is important to consider that you cannot create a spectacle of yourself in public. Emotions after a breakup are overwhelming and intense. So, take time off from everything and go somewhere private to unwind. You could scream and yell, do intense workouts, or channel all of your emotions into something better for your psychological health.
Find ways to release your pain and anger as long as you don’t hurt yourself or the people around you. When you are hurting, the people around you – your friends and family hurt, too. So, find ways to let go of these pent up emotions. Accept this as part of your healing process or your feelings will fester within you – damaging you from inside. It is natural to feel annoyed and angry after a breakup. They will slowly get less intense with time.
3. Be easy on yourself
Do not hate yourself or blame yourself for too long. Yes, it is possible that you were at fault too, but do not put yourself down. Go easy on yourself and do not think for a moment that you deserved it or feel unworthy just because you broke up with your partner or they did.
So, don’t allow negative thoughts to occupy your mind. We all make mistakes, learn from them, and move on. This is how life goes. If you were the main cause of the breakup, ask your ex to forgive you. And if your partner was the one cheating on you and hurting you, then try to forgive and move on. Hating someone takes up a lot of your emotional energy, and realistically it’s just not worth it.
4. Do not get into another relationship
Now, this is a short-term solution. The idea is not to rush into another relationship while you are still recovering from a breakup. It might sound like a good way to get over your ex, but it isn’t. Or soon enough, you will have two exes to get over. It is important to know what you want from a relationship before you decide to get into another one. When you are mentally and emotionally ready, explore and meet new people. Build relationships, talk to them, and take your time to know them before starting a new relationship.
5. Indulge in books, exercise, movies, and music
When trying to recover from a breakup, it is important to keep yourself busy with something. This is where hobbies come in. One can always find new hobbies or can start with simple things such as reading books – but try to stay away from romance novels. Often the fantasies we imagine through these novels can make getting past your heartbreak more and more difficult. Instead, opt to watch documentaries and comedies. You could also find some cool TV shows to watch on Netflix. As long as you are kept busy and distracted, the specific hobby isn’t as important. On the flip side, exercise, yoga and/or meditation are all great ways to keep yourself busy. Regular exercise helps keep you healthy, keeps you active, and even boosts your mood. Research has found that listening to sad songs while dealing with a break can help you feel better; happier even. Sad songs help in regulating negative mood and emotion along with consolation. Remember, the lyrics are the key! You will never be better off listening to breakup songs.
6. Try to develop mindful habits
It is wise that over time, you gradually develop a mindful life so your mind can stay peaceful and calm no matter what you face. When you are mindful, you are conscious and considerate. You listen more to yourself and acknowledge your emotional needs while knowing what sparks joy within you.
7. Set firm boundaries
Also, one of the worst outcomes when trying to recover from a breakup is the on-and-off-again kind of relationship. This doesn’t imply that you don’t try to resolve conflicts or any other unresolved issues. Reconciliation isn’t unheard of after a breakup. But, once you have broken up with someone, try to limit your contact with them as much as possible. Even if you patch up down the road, a detachment or detox for a certain period is necessary to heal. Think your relationship through, and move forward.
All in all, it is your decision. If you don’t think that you need to heal and recover from the breakup, you never will. So, you have to decide what you need to do for your mental and emotional health. Concentrate on yourself, and only then you’ll be able to move on. Remember, these are just some ways to help you out. None of them are hard and fast rules, but most of them have worked for many. If things become too much to handle and get overwhelmed, do not delay seeking professional help.