Your relationship can be the No. 1 source of happiness in your life. But you might be struggling right now because you don’t tap the opportunities to make it better.
Do you want to suffer or be a part of an amazing love story? Read on for actionable tips that explain how to improve your relationship.
1. Compromise is Necessary
We all have goals and desires, and respect from our partners would help us to meet them. For example, let’s say your partner wants to start a business and cannot take care of the kids for a couple of weeks. This is your time to discuss your plans as a couple in detail and compromise if necessary.
But many couples get caught up with “life”. You and your partner may develop thoughts like, “I’m not doing anything for them until they do this and that for me.”
That said, being able to overcome selfishness is key to a great relationship. Don’t expect anything from your partner.
Ask your partner what they want and be willing to compromise. But remember, compromising goes both ways. It is important for you and your partner to put each others’ needs first.
Being proactive like this will transform your relationship.
2. Take Advantage of Long Conversations
Does your partner feel frustrated because you interrupt them a lot? Do you care more about what you have to say? That’s another untapped opportunity to improve your relationship. Listen more than you speak.
One thing that works especially well is having long conversations.
Sit down with your partner or take a walk with the sole purpose of talking. And let them talk.
As they talk, your job is to focus on three things
- Acknowledging what they’re saying
- Asking questions
Your partner will open up and feel heard out. And they’ll feel grateful and compelled to hear you out as well afterward.
3. Be Present
When we speak to our partner, we might find it hard to focus on them. With so many things on our mind, it’s tempting to think about something else and just pretend we’re listening.
This is especially typical of men. They come up with a “solution” to a woman’s “problem” quickly and stop listening. But women, with their empathy, notice this quickly and hate it. They really want men to listen and not necessarily solve problems.
That’s an untapped opportunity to improve your marriage. Train yourself to listen to your partner as if the world stops when he or she is talking.
When you give 100% of your attention to them, your partner feels fantastic.
4. Change How You Feel About Complaints
When your partner complains about something, you may become defensive. That’s normal but it can create tension and resentment between you two.
Here’s how you can override this defence mechanism for a better relationship.
See each complaint as a request. What your partner is really saying, “I want you to love me more and here’s how you can do it.”
Get excited about this opportunity to fulfill your partner’s needs at a higher level. By doing so, you’ll light them up.
5. Accept More, Judge Less
Do you remember the time when you fell in love with your partner? You felt they were perfect back then, right?
That’s when you truly accepted them for who they were.
But as the newness wore off, you started noticing things you didn’t like in them. That’s how you became judgmental and always wanting to change them.
But when you mention this to your partner, they only get resistant and resentful. And then you feel bad, too.
You can stop resentment by becoming more accepting.
One way to do so is to go back to the memories of your first days as a couple. Recall those memories and re-create the feelings you had back then in your body.
You’ll feel kindness, appreciation, and love. And your desire to judge and change your partner will subside.
6. Replace Negative Challenges with Positive Ones
Couples focus on the negative challenges that they have. For example, they might be not supportive enough for each other.
And they get caught up in trying to resolve this challenge. But often, they don’t get any results and grow resentful.
There’s an almost magical way to deal with such problems. Replace them with a more positive challenge.
For example, set a fitness goal for both of you such as losing weight. This will shift your focus from the negative challenge to this new, positive one.
You’ll start working toward it, looking for ways to accomplish it together.
When you shift your focus to a positive challenge, the negative one will seem unimportant. And chances are you’ll see it dissolve quietly.
7. Create Great Memories
Couples might lose passion for each other because they become complacent with time. They take each other for granted.
Here’s one easy trick to improve your relationship. It’s showing your love and appreciation to your partner in creative ways.
Here are a few examples:
- Cook a romantic meal if you don’t cook normally.
- Take a walk and stop in a beautiful place suddenly. Turn on nice music on a loudspeaker and dance to it with your partner.
- Buy a lot of balloons and hire a boom lift that will take you up to your partner’s window. They’ll be amazed by seeing you there with all those balloons.
Creating these memories will make you bond more. And you will feel grateful and loving toward each other as a result.
8. Make Your Partner Feel Significant
We all need to feel significant but often don’t get enough of this feeling from our partner. This is another opportunity for you to improve your relationship.
Use these three suggestions:
- Ask for their opinion. It shows that you value their perspective.
- Praise them for every small achievement.
- Acknowledge them for what they do for you, your home, or your family.
If you do this regularly, your partner will feel important and light up.
9. Here’s the Best Part About Getting Better in Your Relationship
To tap any of these 8 opportunities, you need to go first in taking action.
And you might have doubts about that because you want your partner to do something for your first.
But that’s not what a relationship is about.
It’s about you sharing the gift of love.
When you do so open-heartedly, you’ll notice that love is really within you.
And the more love you give, the more you feel it in yourself and the more you will be able to improve your relationship.