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how to become less shy

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The first step to overcoming any problem is to realize that there is one. This guide will help you to become less shy and give you pointers to nudge yourself into a life where you are free from being shy.


One thing I’ve learnt throughout my life is that absolutely nothing will happen if you continue waiting for a miracle.  The way to success is not to wait for something to happen but to take a step and work towards your goal.  You have to realize this is what I want to change and this is how I will change it. If you want to become less shy, the first step is to make this a goal. Without direction and aim, everything else falls apart.

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.  –William Jennings Bryan

So keeping that mindset in mind, you must prepare yourself to be committed and determined to overcome your shyness.

What is Shyness?

Shyness (Diffidence) is a feeling of fear of embarrassment that millions of people deal with each and every day. People who are shy tend to avoid human beings and situations where they are put in the spot light.

How to Become Less Shy

These 8 strategies will help you not just become less shy but defeat your shyness one and for all!

1. Stop drowning in your Insecurities

What most people don’t understand is that it is impossible to be 100% perfect.  Everyone has insecurities; some choose to step over them while some choose to hide under. Continuously doubting yourself or thinking that you aren’t capable of doing something is absolutely ridiculous.  Be proud of who you are and show people you are confident and have loads to offer.

2. Create Strong Bonds With Friends

A lot of times it’s your friends that bring out the best in you and it is with them where you feel most comfortable.  Over time this confidence will translate into other situations as well and will become a huge asset to overcome shyness.

What is a friend? I will tell you…it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. – Frank Crane

3. Do Not Compare Yourself With Others

The one habit which is the downfall of millions is the constant comparison between themselves and others.

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. – Unknown

Continuously comparing yourself to others to the point where you are too insecure to act like yourself or daily lowering your self-esteem is not just going to make you feel worse about yourself but you will never get rid of your shyness.

4. Expand Your Comfort Zone

Try to push your limits bit by bit. Go to more and more public places and try to slowly get more and more accustomed. You will eventually get more comfortable and your shyness will decrease. Shopping malls, community centers and libraries are good places to start.

5. Improve Your Posture

Body Language has a direct correlation with how we feel. If you stand slouched and closed you will automatically feel more insecure and shy, but if you stand upright and be more open you will automatically begin feeling more confident and less shy.

This will initially take a lot of courage but I know you can do it.

6. Get Involved with the Community

Surrounding yourself with people is always a big step to overcome shyness.  So try Volunteering in places that interest you and just go for it.

7. Learn to Accept Rejection

Rejection is a normal part of life. You are always going to meet people who you don’t share similar interests with and have different viewpoints. This is Okay. Just remember to not take it personally and learn from it.

Relinquishing your confidence for one measly rejection will not change anything.

A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. – Bo Bennett

8. Make a Bucket List

Make a list of several situations that make you feel shy or anxious and order them from situations that make you feel the least to the most anxious.  Once you have your list, go through them one by one.  Do them at your own pace but make sure to push those boundaries. This activity will not only build your self-confidence but snap you out of that ‘I can’t do it’ stage because you can!

Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.Dale Carnegie

Alison R
Alison R

Alison is a freelance author, yoga enthusiast and a strong believer of self-improvement. Being in the self-help industry for over 9 years, Alison has a plethora of knowledge which she loves to share and discuss with her readers. Alison was one of the first freelance authors for and continues to contribute today.

  • Avatar Leonida says:

    Very helpful and the Shyness and social anxiety is soo Amazing

  • A new perspective on Shyness : Social Panorama: youtube #42 Why Shyness Happens. Featuring Lucas Derks (NLP)

  • Avatar ANDRE says:

    I like the bucket list idea !

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