Even within the depths of despair there is reason for hope.
Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well. - Theodore Roosevelt
Indeed, the popular saying, “it is always darkest before the dawn,” speaks to a truth we are not always quite capable of seeing. Being conscious individuals, we are so proficient at experiencing pain that we sometimes forget our capability to persevere. We forget that we are also capable of self-determination and that we have a huge say in what our future will be. So if things in your life are not going your way, then do not despair! No matter how terrible you may feel or how dark the future may seem there is always hope. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and you can and will find it. Try to keep these tips in mind while you navigate the darkness, written from the experiences of a person who has been there and back again.
1. You Are Not Alone
The most important thing to remember is that regardless of your problem, you are not alone and you are not the first one. Humans have been on this earth for thousands of years and while clothes, culture and languages have changed, the problems people faced then are the same problems people face now. Just take a look at one of Shakespeare’s plays for example, the emotions people feel are universal. A 1000 thousand years ago you might have literally gotten stabbed in the back in contrast with today where your friend might give a promotion he promised you to somebody else. The main point I’m trying to make is that there have been people before you who have experienced what you are going through in their own way, they have found a way past this difficult moment and they can help you too. Terrible things happen to people all the time and people persevere and overcome. So tell your friends and support circle about what you’re facing and reach out. If you have no friends’ nearby join a support group or call a helpline. But whatever you do, don’t let your problem just sit there. Accept reality and use human connection to make this moment in your life easier. Don’t worry one day you’ll look back, and all of this will seem like just a blink of the eye.
2. Learn From Failure
Whether you just got laid off from work, lost money in your business, or have just failed an important exam, always keep in mind that failure is only failure if nothing is gained from it. In fact, some of the greatest accomplishments ever achieved have only resulted first from terrible failure. Take the example of Michael Jordan who didn’t make the varsity basketball team in high school and used this failure to fuel his journey to become one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. – Michael Jordan.
3. Using The Darkness To Learn About Yourself
It is argued that we never really know who we are until we are truly challenged. Everyone will suffer when life is not going their way. The trick is to use this time to learn more about you. How you view adversity, your attitude towards it and your ability to transform your pain into power. Times will change for the better but if used positively this experience will change you as a person and help you face inevitable difficulty more easily in the future.
4. Zero In On The Essentials
Things sometimes just don’t work out, accidents happen; sometimes you don’t live up to your expectations, and sometimes to the expectations of others. But you can’t let these perceived setbacks stop you from having an amazing life.
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. - Alexander Graham Bell
Keep your focus on what’s really important in life. Your family, friends and yourself. Keep yourself healthy. Make your relationships even stronger. And very soon opportunity will come knocking. Another door will open for you and this closed door will become a distant memory.
5. Believe In Yourself
When life doesn’t go your way it’s very easy to lose grip on your self-confidence. You begin to question your abilities and think more about your weaknesses, you think more about what you cannot do and start spiraling down simply digging a deeper hole for yourself. But I’m here to tell you to snap out of it. And the faster you do it the better.
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. - Marcus Aurelius
Highlight your strengths. Focus on what your good at and even make a list if it helps. Be positive in your thinking and know that while you aren’t perfect you still have a lot to offer this world. Hold on to this belief close to your heart and let it fuel your rebirth, your return.