We all want to learn how to build self-confidence. Self-confidence brings out the best in us. When we are confident we show the world that we feel good about ourselves and our place in the world. Here are seven tips that can teach you how to build self-confidence and change your life.
Seven Methods to Build Self Confidence:
1. Keep a Running Tally of Good Decisions that You Have Made
In a small journal or notebook write down every time you make a good decision, do this for about two weeks. Some examples could include, checking traffic reports and changing your route to work so you could be on time, or resolving a customer’s problem, etc. At the end of two weeks, read over the sum total of your good decisions. Ignore any bad decisions. Tell yourself that you make good decisions and allow yourself to understand how great that feels. Keep doing this and make it a habit. Soon you’ll find that you think of yourself as someone who makes good decisions and the number of bad decisions will diminish.
2. Making a List of All the People in Your Life Who Think You Are Terrific
This is a great way to teach you how to build self-confidence. Go back as far as you need to get a substantial list. For example, think all the way back to your elementary school teachers who gave you encouragement. Your list will most likely be much longer than you think and there are in fact a lot of people who think you’re great, but never told you so. Take a few minutes to reflect on each person from your list and understand how good they make you feel.
I recently linked with a colleague through LinkedIn, from my days at Mattel. I wasn’t really sure he would remember me, but I gave it a shot. He did remember me and to my surprise, wrote back saying, “I remember that you always had a smile on your face at the Toy Fair when everyone else looked miserable.” This was surprising to me. I personally felt miserable as well, but my colleague had thought I was the happiest one!
3. If Someone Criticizes You, Take an Honest Look at What Was Said
If they are speaking the truth, own it and vow to positively change your behaviour. Be honest and thank that person for pointing out your “flaw” and tell them you are going to try and change. If, however, after close examination you determine that you were not at fault don’t beat yourself up. Many times we have such an emotional reaction to criticism that we immediately start to feel bad, even though we have done nothing wrong.
If you find yourself in this situation, ask yourself why this particular person would criticize you. Is this person projecting their own issue onto you? Are they unhappy in their own life and want to make you unhappy too? Whatever their reason, if you are wrongly criticized don’t let it get you down. It’s best to forget about whatever occurred. Don’t keep thinking about it because research has shown that each time you recall an unpleasant situation it’s essentially like re-living it over and over again. Let it go. It’s a great way to learn how to build self-confidence, make your life happier and keep yourself healthier.
4. Perform Your Job to the Best of Your Ability
Having the knowledge that you’re doing a good job will build your self-confidence. Don’t wait for feedback from your boss, ask for it. Make sure that you understand exactly what is expected of you and make every effort to do what is expected. Also, make sure that your boss is aware of what you are doing. Once I worked for a boss who was not very engaged. I didn’t get much face-time with him and I wasn’t at all sure that he trusted me. I was very sure that he wasn’t aware of how hard I was working and how many problems I was solving.
My brother, a veteran sales manager who was used to working in a satellite office situation, gave me some great advice. He said to create a monthly report for my boss, even though the boss had not asked for it. I did just that, giving my boss a grid of past and current sales numbers, outlining the issues I had faced and what I had done to resolve them and asking for his guidance on issues I couldn’t figure out. My boss received the first report and came into my office with a big smile on his face. He said he loved the new report and to keep it up. Our relationship was positively changed from that moment forward. Figuring out how to turn around a situation is a great way to learn how to build self-confidence.
5. Test the Market for Your Position with a Job Search
This one is tricky as you have to make sure that your current employer doesn’t learn that you are conducting a job search. Finding out how much you are worth on the open market will build your self-confidence and help you when review time comes around. You may be able to do this with a simple review of a salary survey. This will help you to see where you fall within the salary guidelines. This information is widely available on the internet. Be sure you know your worth and keep the information current. It will help you make decisions about your career and your future.
6. Pay Off Any Debt You Owe and Start to Save Money
Nothing can erode your self-confidence like not having control of your finances. Paying off your debts will give you tremendous personal power and a feeling of total control over your life. This may sound simple in concept but it is very difficult for most people to do. If you are in debt, adjust your lifestyle to fit your income. That could include getting rid of expensive spending habits like excessive eating out.
7. Take Your Savings and Invest it in a Secure, Long-term Investment
You can build tremendous self-confidence by knowing that you have a secure nest in case you need it. Almost everyone will have to tap this resource at some time during their working life so if you don’t have money saved, you need to start immediately. Keep adding to these savings with your retirement in mind. It will give you tremendous confidence to know that you can retire early if you choose.