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touch the heart

It is time to write a thank you card that will touch the heart of your friend, for their birthday.

But there’s a problem.

You don’t know what to write.

Have you encountered that before?

It’s not that you have nothing to thank your friend for, it is that you don’t know how to put it into words.

In this article, I will run through with you the 5 simple steps to take to write a thank you note that will touch the heart of the recipient.

Step 1: Figure out the purpose of writing the thank you note

This first step is the most important step among all the 5 steps.

You must have a clear reason for writing the thank you note. If you don’t know why you are writing the thank you note, it will be very easy for the recipient to spot that you were insincere.

Do not write a thank you note just because you have to. In fact, in that scenario, it is better if you don’t write it at all.

This is because being genuine is the most important thing. I just cannot emphasize this enough.

If you are not genuine, you can write the most beautiful of poems for your friend or colleague, but they will be able to see right through it.

Hence, first, start off by clarifying your purpose of writing the thank you note.

Step 2: Choose words that express your gratitude.

To write a powerful thank you note, use words that express gratitude.


Thank you for…

I appreciate your…

I am immensely grateful for…

I can never thank you enough for…

Besides using words that express gratitude, a good tip is to express the level of gratitude by carefully selecting the words you use.

If you are extremely thankful for something your friend did for you, then show it.

Don’t just say “thank you for…”. Use phrases like, “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for…”.

Use superlative terms such as extremely, immensely, very, greatly, etc.

These words will help to accurately convey the level of gratitude you have for the recipient.

Step 3: State clearly the gift or act.

When thanking someone, you must surely be thankful for something, right?

In this case, when mentioning what you are grateful for, don’t just speak in generic terms.

What do I mean?

It means that you should avoid terms such as, “thank you for caring for me”, “thank you for loving me”, etc. These phrases are very superficial and it may come across as insincere to the reader. They will definitely not touch the heart of the recipient.

When you are thanking someone for a deed they have done, be as specific as you can. Go into as many details as possible.

Some possible pointers to take note are:

  • When did this happen? Give a rough estimate of when your friend helped you.
  • What exactly did he/she do? Describe it in as much detail as possible.
  • What was the situation when your friend carried out that good deed? Elaborate on the context of the situation.

When you are as specific as possible, it will be much clearer that you aren’t writing the thank you note just because you have to.

Example: From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the time when you showed immense concern for me. I remembered this was something you did for me a few months back. At that time, I had been facing family problems back at home. That caused me to feel overly worried at work. I am extremely grateful when you noticed how I was feeling even when others didn’t, and talked to me about it. [to be continued below]

Pro tip: Don’t blindly answer the questions above! The key to writing a thank you note that will touch the heart of the recipient. Be genuine. It must come from your heart.

Step 4: Elaborate on the impact the deed had on you.

When you are writing a thank you note, the recipient doesn’t want generic “thank yous” that can come from anyone. That thank you must be personalized to the impact your friend had on you. You must describe the personal touch the recipient had on you for the note to touch the heart of the recipient.

Provide clear reasons why you are so thankful to the person you are sending the note to. Relate these with how you felt, especially how the deed impacted you. Here are some suggested questions you can answer:

  • How did you feel when your friend carried out the good deed?
  • What were the thoughts running through your mind at that moment?
  • How did your friend change your behaviour/mindset?

When doing so, bear in mind the same thing: be as specific as possible. Try to describe your feelings with great detail.

Example: [continued from above] You sacrificed your time for me and when you listened to me as I shared my story, I felt really comforted by your presence. Your advice also enabled me to face my situation with greater courage.

Side note: Even though I kept using the word “deed”, you may not be thanking your friend for a good deed in particular. You can still employ the 5 steps! Just focus on the character of your friend instead of the good deed.

Step 5: End with a beautiful closing statement.

It would be really awkward if you just ended your lovely note there, wouldn’t it?

End with a closing statement that summarizes what the thank you note is about.

If you want to, you could also add something that relates to the future.

For example, for a situation like the one above, you could end with a statement like this:

I sincerely look forward to more times I can spend talking to you.

I hope to see you soon! Take care in the meantime!

Keep in touch!


Thank you cards have the power to touch the heart of the recipient.

The only condition is that they are written from the heart. When you have a message to say that is from your heart, go ahead and describe it in great detail, detailing the good deed and its impacts on you.

And I am sure that the thank you card will go a long way in showing your appreciation for the recipient.

Was there a note you received before that touched your heart deeply? Share your experiences in the comments section below!


Nathanael Siew

Nathanael Siew is the owner of the personal development website Wise Living Today, a website aimed at inspiring people to see the world through lenses of hope. With in-depth content and fresh insights, his articles empower readers to live a more meaningful and effective life.

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