Having a healthy relationship can be very difficult, and while there’s no great surprise there, it’s very much worth pointing out. Nothing happens in a relationship without cause. Whether the cause is obvious or subliminal it isn’t always consistent. But when things go bad in a relationship, there’s always a reason. In the modern era, relationships are even more difficult than they have been in the past, and there’s so much more to watch out for. But maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is very much possible.
Let’s take a look at 5 tips for building a durable relationship with your partner.
1. Cultivating Mutual Forgiveness
Forgiving someone for having wronged you is extremely difficult. Even when the person who has wronged you is your significant other, forgiveness is still difficult. When damage has been done, people often take a short-cut. It’s vital that you don’t forget that forgiving someone isn’t as simple as just saying the phrase ‘I forgive you’. When you forgive someone, your words should mean something to you. Don’t devalue the phrase by using it when you don’t mean it. You and your partner should create a mutual understanding of what forgiveness is and when it is deserved. However, do not force yourself to stay in the relationship if your partner’s behaviour is truly unforgivable. Still, try to empathize with your partner. When they object to an action, try to understand their reasoning behind their objection.
2. Work Together As A Team
Playing the blame game when things go wrong is all too easy. Blaming your partner for things might make you feel temporarily relieved, but it doesn’t acknowledge the underlying problems. It also does not help to create a healthy environment where you can both move forward. Instead, you should approach the problem as a team. Try to equally contribute to overcoming the problem.
Figuring out your problems can also create an opportunity for bonding. If your partner and you are cooking together after a recent minor argument and you hear your partner sigh as you pass by, you might assume that they are annoyed at you for being in their way. But if you turn around and ask them why they made an annoying noise, you might discover that they are actually frustrated at being unable to find a utensil buried deep in the kitchen drawer. Under normal circumstances, you might not have asked them what was wrong, instead of letting their presumed objection to your presence bother you. By assuming, you risk building up internal anger throughout the day, this buildup can result in you both letting it out at each other and getting into a larger fight about nothing in particular.
By asking your partner how they are feeling, you can possibly show them where the utensil is, thus allowing your time to cook together to be more efficient and enjoyable, allowing you and your partner to enjoy a healthy relationship. At a later stage in your relationship, if you both practice this kind of empathy regularly, your significant other will start to explicitly say things like “I can’t find the spatula” rather than hiding their thoughts. This saves you both a lot of bother and ultimately increases your understanding of one another.
3. Laugh Together
Laughter is a powerful tool for bonding, especially in a healthy relationship. Even scientific studies have shown us the value of giggling and laughing with your significant other as a way to help build your partnership, see the world from the same perspective and not take ourselves too seriously. So next time you laugh at a meme, send it to your partner. Or share that story your friend told you. This will help reinforce your relationship with the strength of humour.
4. Prepare To Compromise
Compromise is a big part of a successful and healthy relationship. You’ll never meet someone who feels exactly as you do about everything. Your partner is an entirely separate human being, even if you’re deeply connected. So, sometimes, you need to be prepared to be flexible in order to have a durable relationship. Being prepared to change things about your life for the sake of your partner is a really useful tool. Especially for ensuring that your relationship stays strong.
5. Put Aside Time For Intimacy
Physicality in relationships is crucial. In the age of the internet and the smartphone, so much of your relationship is most likely conducted via text or chat, meaning that you really have to work hard to carve out time to physically be together. You need to actually schedule a time to be together daily, or at least weekly, schedule. Without it, you can drift apart and the structure of your relationship can feel brittle when it should be rock solid. You and your partner can always make plans for your time bonding together. Once you can discuss this and plan to focus on it, you will look forward to your time together. In this way, it will be as pleasurable for both of you, forming a healthy relationship for years to come.
To come full circle, relationships are tough. This shortlist of advice isn’t to make your relationship easy, it is simply to give you a list of things to work on. The more you work on perfecting this list, the easier and healthier your relationship will become.