Being a shy person can be quite difficult. It may feel like this world is not for you. In this condition, you probably want to run from others. Growing up, I felt like the epitome of “shy”. Today, I will discuss my personal story of how I conquered my shyness.
I was a shy kid from the beginning. It was very difficult for me to make friends. That’s why I stayed home most of the time. But with time I started feeling very nostalgic while staying home. But I could not do anything because I always felt shy to talk with a stranger. Even I was afraid of asking something from my close friends. I was always worried about others’ opinions about me and was overall in bad condition.
I used to behave like a superhero with my family. But talking with a stranger was very difficult for me. It felt like something was stopping me from inside. Low self-esteem and confidence were destroying me. I remained like this for a long time. But circumstances seem to alter after I enrolled in college. I used to be uncomfortable in college because I was not a good communicator. After some difficulties despite my shyness, I managed to make 2 to 3 friends. I was very upset with myself. But growth happens while being uncomfortable. As T. Harv Eker said,
“The only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable.”
One day when I was doing some research on the internet for my college assignment. I found a video on how to overcome shyness. The person in the video explained everything about shyness and he said something that motivated me. He said,
“No one is born with confidence. They develop it with time. It is a learnable skill. Anyone can learn it.”
I got motivated by that video because I hated being shy and I wanted to learn how to overcome shyness.
Due to my newly found motivation, I watched hundreds of personal development videos in 2 to 3 days. My research would add to my motivation. I also ordered some personal development books from amazon and began to read online articles. There was a lot of information to learn from. But only consuming information was not going to change my life. I knew I would have to execute. But it is much easier said than done.
I desperately wanted to change. So, I created a proper list of how to meet with people. In the list, I mentioned everything from eye contact to smile, handshake, proper posture, asking questions, etc. I tried to talk with a stranger every day and got mixed up even more with my classmates. First, it was very terrifying. But I kept trying and ended up making some new friends. After 2-3 months I started feeling comfortable. In Fact, I made some new friends from other classes. Now uncomfortable was comfortable for me. Like my fear had vanished.
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I got so much motivated by that! Now, I wanted to change my life completely. That’s why I tried to conquer my biggest fear: stage fear. Luckily there was a public speaking contest at my college. When I saw the notice, my heart knew I was going to take part in this. But deep down I was still very scared of the crowd. So I asked every classmate for the contest to give me company. But not even a single student from my class was ready to take part in that contest. Everyone was afraid of stage fear.
It scared me even more. But I wanted to do it so badly that I ended up doing it alone. This was a bold move for me. On the competition day, I was very scared. I could count every single heartbeat of mine. I was shivering. But I knew that if I didn’t conquer this fear now, it would stay with me for my whole life. I was feeling a lot of anxiety but still, I did that. After stepping on stage I found that it was not that terrifying from above. I did my best and I got 3rd prize out of 31 students. My teachers were congratulating me. I was so happy after that.
I hope you can relate and learn something from my story. Below, I have mentioned some of the key points I learned through my experience with shyness. Feel free to read them so you can avoid making similar mistakes as me.
Key Takeaways From My Story
1. Choose Your Friends Wisely
I was shy because of my accompaniment. A person’s future can easily be predicted by looking at his accompaniment. You can learn so many things from people only if you choose your friends wisely.
Choosing bad friends can be a disaster for you. When I asked my classmates for the paper reading contest, they all refused because they were also slaves of their fear. When you spend a lot of time with a person, your thoughts also start to match his thoughts.
Choose people with good habits, so you can also learn from that. Finding friends is not difficult nowadays, thanks to the internet.
2. There Is Nothing Like Fear
If you want to change your life, you have to set aside ‘fear’ word from your dictionary. I was also afraid of so many things but when I faced them. The fear just vanished. That’s how I find that fear is nothing but ‘Fake Evidence Appearing Real’.
Think of your fear like a person whose talks are louder than his actions.
Because of fear, people give up on their dreams. But they regret it later. Never get afraid of fear. Even if you are afraid, don’t tell anybody and do it anyway. If you want to see a new you, always try to step out of your comfort zone. Make a list of your fears and try to overcome them
3. Start Small
If you go straight to break a mountain, you will get nothing but failure. Just like that if you go straight to break a bad habit, you will get failure. I was also making the same mistake. Fighting with your bad habits can be hard. But after getting knowledge, I alter my whole life.
If you have a big task and you are procrastinating over it. Divide it into pieces and then try to complete your task in the form of pieces.
4. Take Action
All these tips, tricks, and information are waste if you are not taking action. If your words are louder than your actions, you are not going to achieve anything.
Be 100% committed to your goals. Set aside entertainment for some time. And take actions toward your goals every day. If someone asks me the reason how I overcome shyness then I will reply by taking actions.
You can also create a to-do list. Making a to-do list was the best decision of mine. Because it gives you an action plan. When you have everything sorted out, the chances of procrastination become very less.
5. Don’t Limit Yourself
I had to face difficulties because I was sitting inside a cage. In my brain, I always used to limit myself. There are no limitations to humans. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
You can do anything. Set big goals that scare you. Always try to overcome your fear. Don’t take yourself for granted. And step out from your comfort zone.